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Find a Relationship and Marriage Counsellor in South London

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The average price of Relationship and Marriage Counsellors in South London is £60 per session

The Life You Want profile image
T

The Life You Want

Hi, I’m Siamak Diba and I’m a Psychotherapist. I offer face to face online & in person therapy sessions and I can help you with: Anxiety: Waking up worried or something during the day triggering your worries which sometimes is vague & sometimes specific, A feeling of dread or impending calamity which sometimes is mild & sometimes almost unbearable, Thinking about future scenarios & almost always imagining the worst, Doubt, suspicion, hypersensitivity, physically unpleasant sensations, your relationships being affected by this..... Anxiety has its roots in the past but it is always about the future. let me tell you this also: anxiety is normal, it is part of life. The problem occurs when your fears, worries & anxieties seem to take over and become your whole life. You can break free! You might have tried some ways of controlling, avoiding, suppressing, distracting, changing your thinking... talking yourself out of your fears, worries & anxieties. You might have even tried counselling to get help with doing some of the above. Coping strategies might work short term but in the long run...? I'm here to tell you that freedom, management of ALL your states & having the life that you want is possible. In order to do this we become 'present'. In order to become present, we might have to go on a journey into the past & the future but ultimately you arrive at your most capable, resourceful, connected, 'present' self. To achieve this, we will use a few psychotherapeutic tools. These include: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy: .Self Observation, identifying your internal language . Staring a new internal language Acceptance & Commitment Therapy: . Pausing & Noticing, evaluating your experiences. Let me describe this with a short story: A native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said: " I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is angry, vengeful, scared & violent one, the other wolf is a loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him: "which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered: " The one I feed the most!" . Setting 'What's Important, Living Directions (WILD), & moving towards them. Inner Child work: . Identifying wounds of the past and any trauma you might have experienced . Healing the wounds by connecting to the child of long ago and 'reclaiming her/him' & 'reparenting her/him'. To do inner child work we will also have to use psychodynamic exploration & Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques. I am happy to discuss these with you in our introductory initial session. I offer an initial introductory session on Zoom or in Person for £10 . The reason for the nominal charge is to avoid 'no-shows' when I've booked my time out. I'm sure other therapeutic tools will come in handy during our work as I'm sure other areas of concern might arise when we start this journey together. We will use those tools & we will address those areas as needed. So, regarding Anxiety & any of the problems you are struggling with, let me give you an analogy: "I'm sure you know what Poison Ivy is. Poison Ivy is a plant that is a strong skin irritant. Most people try to avoid touching the plant because they know what they'll get: a nasty, red, blistering rash that itches like hell. If you've ever touched one, you know what it's like. you've got a strong urge to scratch, & when you do that, you make matters worse. You might end up with open sores on your skin. And if you haven't washed the plant oils from your hands & exposed area, you may spread the allergic reaction to other parts of your body. No amount of scratching will cure the inflammation. You need to stop the scratching & allow your body to heal itself. The anxiety itch is like this too. The discomfort rages through your head & your body & you have a strong urge to get relief. So you avoid. you struggle. The problem is that you can't avoid exposure to anxiety the way you can avoid a poison ivy plant. Anxiety can show up anywhere or anytime. When you scratch your anxiety itch with avoidance and struggle, it makes the anxiety worse- The anxiety grows and spreads to infect most of your life. Also, all the struggle pulls you out of your life too". Relationships: Almost all relationships I have worked with have had a few commonalities in their issues: Unhealthy communication Loss of trust/respect/interest/goodwill Disorder of desire Resentment & Alienation There's some more but I'll stop there for now. Each of the above need to be examined & addressed & worked with, Also, There's always each person & their processes; What I mean is that there are issues that each person brings to the relationship & how those issues impact the relationship. So usually, the work involves a combination of "individual" and "couple work". My experience of working with couples has shown me that the best results are achieved when each person is up for personal discovery, healing & growth, as well as being willing to work on the relationship dynamics. In terms of relationship dynamics, some of the "buzzwords" to consider might be: "for granted- Stale- Resentment- entrenched- Mistrust- projection"... There are of course more,& the important skill is to be able to move from 'generalisation' into 'specifics' & then the big one: Communication! Conflicted communication which moves & keeps a person in 'ego-defence' is often the mechanism of a relationship dysfunction. You can, with guidance, navigate your way through; If 'goodwill' still exists between you. For all this to become possible, there are 2 requirements: 1- that there is "goodwill" left between you two & 2- that each of you are willing to have "personal change" , to "look inside". If these requirements are there, then we can do some good work. Through our work you will break free, achieve 'Presence' & move mindfully & fast towards the life you want. We will meet on Zoom, or we will meet in person at one of 2 locations I work from. The sessions are 50 minutes long. There's a lot to say, contact me & let's start. Call or email me to set up your initial session.

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What do you love most about your job?

The magic!
What I mean by that is witnessing a person's experiences of life change, quite dramatically in a lot of cases, in a short space of time.
Learning people's old stories and showing them it's now time for a new, better story.

What inspired you to start your own business?



Wanting to reach more people, further afield. Covid-19 has had its downs, but one of the ups is that we can connect with each other wherever in the world we are. I have clients in Canada, Israel, Holland, Iran & of course in our own backyard & it is great to see this unique therapy travel.

Why should our clients choose you?

There are good therapists around of course, but I hear many of you complain that therapy mostly feels like "grinding water"! Talking and talking until things get better does not suit some.
I formulate a way forward & a clear therapy journey for you.
I offer an integrative, holistic, outcome-oriented, solution-focused, passionate & compassionate therapy journey. I'm interested in seeing results quickly.
What we do works. Your life will change.

Can you provide your services online or remotely? If so, please add details.

Yes, I mostly use Zoom although some clients prefer Skype. Once we've arranged our sessions, I'll then send you the joining details.

What changes have you made to keep your customers safe from Covid-19?

Since lockdown, all our sessions have been on Zoom, and online, the sessions are covid safe.

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Relationship and Marriage Counselling FAQs

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Definitely! As long as you have a strong internet connection, relationship and marriage counselling can easily be provided online. In fact, it's the preferable option for many people who would feel more comfortable having the session from the comfort of their own home.

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