Realign Coaching

My coaching sessions with Dave were really useful in helping me to work out what I really wanted, prioritise my needs and put together a plan for moving forward. I had to cancel my last session because of a family issue but I've still been making progress, building on the work we've already done and I'm looking forward to my next session. More...

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I first met Dave and started Life-Coaching with him, through a recommendation/referral whilst regularly attending a peer-led pain support group at St Andrew's Community Network in Clubmoor about 2 years ago. When I started life-coaching with him (offered as 12 sessions through the Network), I would describe myself as feeling chaotic; lost and directionless; lacking in trust (certainly unsure of how to trust or what it felt like); and generally unable to control anything. I knew the cause of all this to be trauma-based, with having layers and layers of trauma throughout my life, with the last trauma being the loss of my daughter, who was my only child, 9 and half years previously in 2007. Indeed, at the time, I was in a therapeutic relationship (bereavement counselling, which I'd sought again following the death of my brother-in-law, which was the first death of a close family member since my daughter had died) and had been for most of the previous 2 and half years.I couldn't put a finger on it at the time but, I was convinced there would be a 'clash' with attending both (counselling and life-coaching) at the same time, and hence would end in failure. How wrong I was! Over the course of those first 12 sessions with Dave, I began to experience a transformation...the first signs of 'healing'...as much as one can 'heal' after the loss of one's child ~ always an out-of-order death ~ that turns the world on it's head, shatters you to the core, leaves a forever vulnerable wound with a pervading sense of emptiness, indescribable pain and the knowledge that the grief and pain will be with us for life. I would summarize those sessions thus, as Dave having shown/reflected these qualities over those sessions:* Validation* Compassion* Non-Judgemental (totally so, considering how I can swear, particularly when I'm angry or passionate about injustice or bad treatment!! lol)* Empathy* Clear Boundaries whilst also being Boundless and Flexible* Unconditional Positive Regard/Prizing to the point that I felt the Unconditional Love which is our birthright* Respect* Trust/Trustworthiness (in both himself and me)* Interest/Curiosity (in me), without being intrusive* Appropriate Sharing (again without being intrusive or taking away from me or my experience) and Reflection* Humility* Letting me go at my own pace, whilst at the same time pacing me/the sessions by setting me straightforward between session 'tasks' and challenges related to whatever had arisen during a session i.e. drawing or painting a diagram of something, writing about a situation or my feelings and, one of my favourites, asking me to find and taste some Damson Jam, which I hadn't had for years and revived some of my happy childhood memories where I'd felt a [rare] sense of safety/security (*smile of deep satisfaction*)* Dependability* Equality/EqualnessIn a nutshell: Dave let me BE whatever, whoever, and however I needed to be ~ No pressure!As a result, I began to feel a stirring of these qualities in myself (or perhaps a revival of them) and, when our 12 sessions through the Network, which were spaced out over 12-14 months, came to an end, I asked Dave if we could continue our sessions on a paid basis. This he agreed to and accommodated, with my still seeing him at the Network. His price for this was more-than affordable, in fact absolute sterling value for money and invaluable. Although our sessions weren't as frequent as they were before for a combination of circumstances (i.e. one or other of us had prior commitments), I had about another 6-8 sessions with him over the next 6 months, where I continued to build on the work we had been doing. As my confidence, self-esteem and self-awareness, I was able to finally recognize that I was being re-traumatized (perhaps unwittingly) in the bereavement counselling, and was able to end this.As well as having C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is based in childhood trauma and which was pretty out of control again when I first started seeing Dave for life-coaching), over the years since I lost my daughter, I have also developed another MH and WHO recognized condition of hoarding/clutter (on the spectrum of OCD). I had no hesitation in asking Dave if he knew of anyone who could help me with this, and through this was put in touch with one of his former Students, [another] Sue: a perfect match! Another one who has helped immeasurably. So, add Networking to Dave's skills!! Additionally, I also attended a course of Dave's, in Communication, Assertiveness and Awareness, which was run for a short time through the WEA and St Andrew's Community Network.In summary of my lengthy review of Realign Coaching, which is heartfelt and of which Dave deserves every word, although there are a constellation of circumstances that have brought me to the point where I am now feeling more-and-more of those qualities within myself that Dave has shown me (that is probably a first for me, as I have spent most of my life feeling so disconnected and disjointed, with parts of myself split-off and dissociated), and as a result feel more in control of my life; am better able to identify and manage the symptoms and triggers of my PTSD; have also felt a shift of the Complicated Grief I had been diagnosed with following the death of my daughter, back to the realms of the 'norms' of grief where I am aware of 'living' it and living with it, rather than it consuming me or trying to avoid it (after all, grief is a natural expression of loss, the flip side of love, part of life); and there are some parts, which represent people/relationships/circumstances, of that significant constellation which definitely come before, some which have come since, and some which are yet to come, if that constellation were to be mapped and viewed as a like a centre circle (our world), with the Centre circle representing the relationship between my daughter and I (for being a parent has been my greatest achievement, my child my most profound teacher and invaluable gift, and her death over 11 years ago broke me wide-open, left me feeling stripped of all that and at such a profound loss), then with other circles building out from it with significant relationships/people placed like a planetary system in the universe around us at the centre, Dave/Realign Coaching would be one of the larger and most significant planets close to the centre.Because, through my life-coaching sessions with Dave, I feel he really accompanied me on on the journey, the process of returning myself to the state of my birthright (the state where we start with love and compassion for the self, along with all the qualities we endeavour to give to others, then moves out from the centre but, which trauma wreaks havoc with and other life experiences can so often damage), he enabled and empowered me to return to me ~ giving me back my humanity, my own inner child and my motherhood, despite the physical absence of my child, and aiding in the process of integration.What a skill. What a gift. Deep gratitude. Highly recommended and life-enhancing. More...

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Dave is amazing. He's really down to earth and very easy to talk to. I always felt positive and motivated after our sessions. From our first get to know session, it was clear that Dave was here to help and not get as much money as possible, he clearly has huge motivation to help people in any way he can. More...

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Dave is a great listener and always makes you feel better about yourself. He is very positive and down to earth. I highly recommend his services

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Metanoeo is an amazing organisation whom have helped me alot over the past couple years. Dave is friendly, welcoming and very approachable who put me at easy fron the very first day. I could not of asked for a better life coach or experience. Highly recommend. More...

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