No Fear Counselling

Couples counselling differs from individual counselling in that the relationship is considered to be the client. Patterns of communication are explored in a non-pathologizing way, discovering underlying emotions that fuel negative interactions. It offers the opportunity to process unresolved hurts and betrayals, making way for a more secure bond. To allow for more productive communication, skills can be developed, restoring a sense of affection and gratitude towards one another.

Research shows that strong relationship bonds, characterized by a secure attachment style can sometimes act as a buffer against the stresses of life. Couples counselling aims to develop bonds through restructuring how couples interact. In couples counselling, care is taken to avoid siding with one partner, where equal involvement builds connection to discover and overcome barriers.

Family counselling allows for patterns of communication and unresolved conflict to be explored in a way that does not blame one single individual. A systems approach is taken, meaning families are considered as one unit and the way in which members of the family relate to one another is seen as a process rather than the fault of any one person. Patterns in verbal and nonverbal communication are brought into awareness and altered to make way for greater mutual understanding, connection, and cohesiveness.

Therapists help family members to develop skills to maintain stronger bonds even after termination of therapy, so that progress can be carried forward into the future. Existing strengths can be built upon and issues and barriers can be resolved while fully supported by an empathic and responsive counsellor.

Some issues that people seek family counselling for include:

Coping when a member of the family is dealing with an addiction or mental illness
Addressing issues related to financial strain, immigration, divorce, deaths, and life transitions

While loss is an inevitable part of life, the process of letting go and healing can be complicated and painful. Grief is a natural and important reaction to loss. Loss of any kind- be it a person, loss of health from a terminal illness, or simply put, the loss of ‘what used to be’. It is both a universal and a personal experience. It is not static or linear and comes in waves of heaviness or a sense of depression.

Any type of loss can challenge our sense of control and security in life, leading to feelings of helplessness, loneliness, and despair. It can also come with sadness for the loss of aspects of our own self. Because these feelings are so painful, it can be tempting to avoid, suppress, or deny their existence altogether. However, in order to move through the loss and adapt to a life that will be different moving forward, the hurt needs to be felt and learned about so it can be moved through.

Unacknowledged and processed grief can sometimes lodge as trauma in the body. This can happen when feelings of hopelessness or powerlessness accompany the sadness, essentially causing a loss of agency in life. This is why it is essential to constructively give space to emotions, thoughts and regrets.

In the case of death, factors such as the nature of death can complicate moving through the loss. When someone’s passing is sudden or violent, there may be other layers of emotions such as shock or rage that need to be processed in order to grieve.Suppose the relationship with the deceased was complicated or abusive. In that case, bereavement can be complicated by mixed feelings towards the person that has passed. In some cases, forgiveness may need to occur before letting go is possible.

How can counselling help?

Counselling provides a space where safety and trust are established so you can face the many conflicting feelings that loss brings about while not being alone in that experience. The destabilization that comes with loss often compromises the ability to cope, so new ways of dealing with emotions and memories can be integrated to increase one’s sense of strength and resiliency.

Working through grief takes patience and understanding, creating boundaries, resisting the instinct to isolate and being gentle with oneself. Counsellors can support you from a place of compassion and facilitate the healing needed for you to live a meaningful life after loss.

Because children experience the world and express themselves differently than adults, counselling with younger populations takes a different form than traditional forms of talk therapy used with adults. Children often communicate in ways that are not purely verbal, such as play, art, and story. Counsellors are trained to understand the important emotions and themes that children convey through various mediums. In this way, therapy is able to meet children at their own level and help them use their imagination as a vehicle for processing difficult experiences and healing.

Therapists focus on building relationships with their young clients that are characterized by trust and safety so that they feel comfortable expressing themselves. The relationship with the therapist can also be a way to learn and practice setting boundaries and expressing their needs and wants in healthy ways.

EMDR was developed in the 1980’s by Francine Shapiro after a chance discovery that when she was recalling past trauma, rapidly moving her eyes back and forth seemed to quickly diminish her distress. Since then, its efficacy has been demonstrated in multiple outcome studies that discovered both a reduction of PTSD symptoms as well as changes in the brain following treatment.

Theory
In PTSD, memories fail to integrate properly because the typical system for encoded memories is temporarily deactivated by the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotion. The bilateral stimulation of the brain in EMDR enables these memories to be processed and integrated properly, so they no longer remain as raw sensory impressions of the experience that make one feel as though they are reliving the event that has long passed. This process has been compared to the spontaneous processing that can sometimes occur during REM sleep.

Techniques
In an EMDR session, clients are guided in recalling the specific sensory elements of their traumatic memory and are then exposed to bilateral stimulation, either in the form of the therapist’s finger moving back and forth, tapping of the knees, or tones played into each ear. Clients are instructed to notice their sensations and distress levels throughout the process until their distress diminishes. While clients may want to share the stories of what happened, this is not necessary for EMDR to be effective, making it a viable option for those who would prefer not to verbally relay their experience.

OEI is an approach to treating trauma that was developed by Rick Bradshaw and Audrey Cook in the mid 1990’s. It involves observing the emotions, thoughts, memories and perceptions that arise while alternately covering each eye, a process that has been found to aid in integration of unprocessed trauma. OEI evolved out of EMDR and draws upon much of the same theory, but is distinct in that there are graduated levels of processing which can be beneficial in that it allows it to be more gentle and gradual.



Theory


OEI is based on the theory that when traumatic memories are formed, the overwhelming nature of the event makes it so they are often stored as fragmented “slivers”. What follows are symptoms like flashbacks and feelings of being stuck in what has happened in the past. The process of OEI engages the visual pathways of both hemispheres of the brain so that information is able to flow more smoothly, allowing experiences that were frozen in time to become “unstuck”. Because it works on conscious and non-conscious elements of experience, change can often be rapid and lasting.




Techniques


The therapy process of OEI involves the client covering or uncovering a single eye at a time while visually following the therapist’s moving fingers. Clients are prompted to pay attention to their inner experience, including any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that may arise. They are also prompted to notice what they observe visually, as often distortions or “glitches” can be indicative of unresolved trauma. As these glitches are cleared and disparate parts of experience are integrated, trauma and related symptoms can begin to resolve themselves.

The impacts of motor vehicle accidents (MVA’s) are often not limited to solely physical injuries. The time following an accident can feel very frightening, isolating, and overwhelming. Fortunately, psychotherapy can be very beneficial in processing and coping with the aftermath of an accident.

This does not only apply to vehicular collisions but also includes accidents involving pedestrians and cyclists. Our team is trained to address the outcomes of MVA’s in a safe and caring way so that you can return to feeling your best.

How does Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) develop after an MVA?

Although not all MVA’s lead to PTSD, it is a very common response. Only about one in 10 individuals who describe their collision as “traumatic” actually develop PTSD. Most crash victims recover within a few months; however, some continue to report chronic symptoms of post-traumatic stress, which hinder their psychological and physical recovery. During an accident, the brain releases the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. The nervous system goes into high alert. The memory centers of the brain do not function properly as the nervous system becomes focused on survival. Because of this, memories of the accident are encoded as fragments of sensory information rather and when the accident is remembered, instead of feeling like it is in the past it can be experienced like it is happening all over again.

Even though we may rationally know that we are no longer in danger, the nervous system is wired to protect our survival at all costs and often isn’t very good at distinguishing the past from the present. This keeps us in a state of hypervigilance, also known as a fight-or-flight state, where even small things can set off feelings of panic, fear or irritation.

This starts to wear on the nervous system and what may start as anxiety or acute stress can develop into PTSD if left untreated. This can show up as avoidance of cues related to the accident, preoccupation with memories of what happened, social isolation, fatigue, and low mood.

Even if you do not meet the clinical criteria for PTSD, you still may be dealing with troubling symptoms like anxiety and depression as a result of an accident, which can also greatly benefit from counselling.

How can counselling help?

Because after the trauma of a car accident, the nervous system may be stuck in a stance of protecting your survival, stress and fear can start to feel like the norm and the body is not able to return itself to a state of equilibrium. This is why therapies that address both the mind and the body are so effective at alleviating the distress that results from trauma.

Mind-body techniques such as EMDR, OEI, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and Somatic Experiencing can aid with resolving trauma by integrating the memories of what happened and calming the body’s stress response. Because the nervous system is still operating as though the threat remains present, therapies that work from the bottom-up serve to update the nervous system and let it know that the danger has passed, giving it the message that it no longer needs to stay on high alert. This can lead to the resolution of symptoms like panic, anxiety, tension, irritability, and fatigue.

Therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can also be helpful in reframing negative thought patterns that arose from the accident and reinforcing more adaptive ways of thinking. Because thoughts are connected to emotions and behaviour, changing thoughts is one way of influencing these other systems to function more adaptively, leading to an overall sense of improved well-being.