Worried about unfaithful partners? Our private investigators reveal the tell-tale signs

We’ve partnered with three of our private investigators to create a guide for people who suspect their partner of being unfaithful. These private investigators have extensive experience in catching cheating partners and have been hired through Bark.com in the past for their skills.

We’ve noticed a 39% increase in ‘barks’ this summer, the majority of which are looking for PIs to investigate a potentially cheating spouse.

Studies have shown that 1 in 5 British adults say they’ve had an affair*. Another study found that 25.4% of married men and 18.3% of married women and have cheated on their current partners at least once and that most affairs start in the workplace – 38.8% of women have an affair with a work colleague in comparison to 30.7% of men**.

Signs that your partner may be cheating:

  1. Being protective of phone, social media or email: This highlights that there’s something to hide on these devices. They may also take their phone to the bathroom, keep it on silent or always keep it face down. Any calls are taken in a different room.
  2. Dramatic change in sex drive: This could mean that there’s more or less sex in the relationship. The partner could feel guilty for cheating, so wants to cover it up by initiating or avoiding sex because they’re getting it elsewhere.
  3. Decline in communication: This could be little things, such as what happened in their day that they used to share and no longer do, or big things like refusing to discuss the future.
  4. New clothes and underwear: If new clothes and/or underwear have been purchased, which is unusual in the relationship, it may be that they are wearing it for someone else and making more of an effort.
  5. Change in personality: A change in personality is a big sign of infidelity, it could be that they’re being more secretive, more argumentative and less affectionate. Sometimes it’s as a result of guilt, but it could also be the influence of the person they’re cheating with rubbing off on them.
  6. Working out more: If they suddenly join a gym or increase the amount of times they go, it could be a sign they’re cheating. Taking more pride in their appearance is one thing, but a big shift could indicate it’s because they have someone else to impress, not just you or themselves.
  7. Uninterested in family events: This reveals that the partner doesn’t want to be around family. It could be that this is due to them not caring anymore, feeling guilty, or that they don’t see a future with you so it’s not worth the effort.
  8. Deflecting once confronted about infidelity: Do they accuse you of cheating at the same time you bring up your concerns? This shows that they are feeling guilty and want to move the attention from themselves as quickly as possible.
  9. Fights about money: Money can be a difficult subject within any relationship, but increased fights about finances may be exacerbated thanks to guilty feelings, and the fact they’re spending more dating two people.
  10. They’re not jealous: A lack of interest in a partner and what they’re doing is a sign they don’t care anymore.

What you should do if you’re suspicious:

  1. Have real evidence but respect their privacy – you can’t take back the accusation once you’ve made it, so it’s best to be as sure as possible
  2. Think about what you’re going to say to your partner beforehand
  3. Think about what you want to happen if it’s true and if it’s not true
  4. Calmly confront your partner and discuss why you suspect they’re cheating
  5. Calmly discuss what you should do next in your relationship

You can hire your own private investigator here.

Kai Feller, co-founder of Bark.com, said,

“The 39% increase in PIs that we’ve seen is unusual, as it’s a high increase over a short space of time which is why we looked into it.

“We have a multitude of PIs on our site who have the expertise and knowledge to recognise warning signs for people to be aware of in regards to cheating spouses and what to do next.

“We hope that by putting this guide together, people will be able to see the signs more clearly.”


* https://yougov.co.uk/news/2015/05/27/one-five-british-adults-admit-affair/

** https://www.yourtango.com/experts/miss-rosie-freeman-jones/uks-largest-survey-infidelity

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